Chinmayee Manjunath

Gretchen Rubin says we live the stories we tell ourselves and I could not agree more. The difference between people who get things done and those who don’t, is the way they approach their work/time/life. The difference between happy people and unhappy people, too, is just how they see the circumstances they find themselves in. I could share a million stories to prove this. But so can you.

Yesterday I was listening to a podcast, as I do when I work, and one of the women on it said she screwed herself over by reading the book I Don’t Know How She Does It. She said that until she read it, she had time for everything she needed to do but the minute she read it, she didn’t. It sounds like an exaggeration but I believe her. Sadly, we’re taught that if you aren’t running crazy, there’s something wrong with you. In my own life, I know that when I was in touch with people who complain a lot or who always seem to be driven mad by their own lives, I was hyperventilating, too. If something got done quickly, I’d think there was something wrong with me.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot of late because it’s been a busy month and along with work, I’ve been teaching myself to do what I said I would do this year. Work out at least four days a week. Sleep well. Pay attention to the cycles of my creativity without judging or pre-empting or trying to control them in some other way. Stop compulsive shopping. Make time for the rituals I love. It’s not been easy, of course but I am proud to say that I am making progress.

And mostly it’s because I am being kinder to myself and watching the stories I tell myself. Plus, I am still learning – four years after I started working from home – to really take charge of my time. I could write a book on this, seriously. Going through the grind of school, university and jobs in offices strips us down of our power over our own time. This year, I am determined to exercise focus and flexibility when it comes to my work schedule – what time I start work, how long I work for and how I manage my time and energy.

One of the most important lessons I have learnt since 2013 is that as an editor/writer who works from home on multiple projects, I have to place as much importance on replenishing my energy as I do on getting tasks done. It’s very easy to burn out when you spend a large number of hours at a desk, alone, working on something creative, which is leeching energy out of you. And there’s no one right way to do it. Some days, I like to spend a whole morning at a cafe, and there are entire weeks when I don’t step out of my house except for meetings.

What works for me is to divide my day into chunks of time and dedicate each chunk to a certain set of tasks. And I do deep work – editing books, for example – best late at night when the house is still. A mistake I made a lot right at the beginning – or even sometimes last year – was to work all day and then decide to also edit at night. Because I am hard on myself, I would power through but found myself exhausted the next day, and I was never happy with my work, even if it was good in its essence. The best way to tackle those days, I find, is for me to read in the afternoon/evening or get out to run errands or attack my inbox or see a friend for an early dinner or late coffee. And then sit down to work around 8 pm, after a shower and a meditation session, with a sense of calm and focus. And some days, I need to allow myself to work from my bed, with a quilt around me, with my favourite music playing and as I snack on brownies or nachos or spring rolls. It’s what I need to do that day.

I love work very much and am one of those people who thrives on working hard and staying busy in a healthy way, not in an insane way. A full day and a job well done make me very happy. To honour creativity and set an intention to be of service to those who are working with me, I light a tea candle in a pretty stand when I sit at my desk these days, and I keep replacing it as it burns out. I always have fresh flowers in the room. I keep my crystals close by. These are simple rituals that might seem self-indulgent but I find that they ground me. In the evenings, I light a scented candle and move from my desk in the bedroom to the dining table for a change of scene. I take a break after dinner for an hour and when I restart work, I meditate or say a prayer just to redirect my energy.

With no rules imposed on me by anyone else, I am learning to find joy and motivation in rituals I create for myself.